


Like I Need You

by notreallythatuseful



Series: How About Forever [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, I swear if i find an explicit fanfic with her i will jump into the sun, M/M, Making Out, Mutual Masturbation, Why is Phil's mother an available character, idk - Freeform, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-09-28 01:10:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10061012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notreallythatuseful/pseuds/notreallythatuseful
Summary: “'Phil, please,' Dan whimpers, and the look in Phil’s eyes when he pulls back sends a full-body shiver through Dan. He lets Phil walk him backwards with steady hands against his hipbones, lets him bite hot-mouthed kisses into his neck.'Please, please,' he repeats mindlessly, his head lolling back and his hands pushing at the hem of Phil’s shirt.Phil looks up, eyes heavy-lidded. 'Can I touch you?' he whispers, and Dan falls back onto the bed.'Please.'"Or, Dan and Phil finally make it to their third date. Smut ensues.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first smut ever ok be nice :((( The first chapter isn't really smut and probably the second one won't be either but just y'all wait until the third chapter!!! Wow!! The title of this one is from "Everyman Needs a Companion" by Father John Misty who is, as you might have guessed at this point, the love of my life. Please let me know if you enjoyed it!! Thanks for reading <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil get ready for their second date.

“You know you can trust me, right?” Phil says, and Dan starts. They’re lying in bed, sunlight creeping to the precipice of afternoon through the window. His head is tucked against Phil’s chest, so that when Phil speaks he hears the rumble of it deep in his lungs.

“What?” he says dumbly, craning his head upwards. “I mean. Yeah. Yes.” He’s aware he’s stuttering a bit, because trust isn’t exactly his forte, and of course there’s the part of him that tells him Phil will leave him, that things will go wrong. The pit of his stomach twists at the thought.

“I know it’s hard for you,” Phil responds, looking down and letting their noses bump. “It’s okay that it’s a process, or… I mean, it’s okay if it takes a while.” His fingers, splayed in Dan’s hair, curl comfortingly against the strands.

“That’s nice, Phil. I just guess… I don’t know.” It’s stupid, really, and Dan still feels silly after these talks, like he’s been too vulnerable or dramatic.

“What?” Phil prompts, and one of his hands drifts down to Dan’s ribcage, fingers poised menacingly. “Tell me, or I’ll do it. I swear.” A quick grin flits across his face.

“If you tickle me, I’ll bite your hand off,” Dan warns, and then lets out a decidedly unmanly shriek when Phil tickles him anyways. “Hey, hey! Oh god,” he wheezes, squirming until he gets a hold of Phil’s wrists. He’s laughing now, and suddenly he remembers Phil’s been dealing with this for years, prompting him out of the corners he’s backed himself into, patient and smiling and Phil. He feels his face grow serious as he looks into Phil’s eyes and remembers how magnificently lucky he is. “I’m not very easy to love,” he confesses quietly, almost so much that Phil can’t hear it, but he knows that he did when Phil’s face falls.

“You are the easiest person to love that I have ever met,” Phil says solemnly, and Dan flushes, fighting off a reflexive eye roll at the intimacy of the sentence. “I always want to love you.” His hands have fallen to rest and instead bracket Dan’s ribs. The warmth across Dan’s cheekbones rolls to consume his whole being.

“Me too,” he says. Phil places a careful kiss on his forehead. Dan lets himself take in the moment for a second, breathes in the scent of Phil so close to him, and then squirms out of Phil’s grip. “Breakfast,” he announces. “Or… brunch. I don’t know anymore.”

“Yeah, it’s late,” Phil agrees, rubbing a hand across his eyes and standing. He slides his glasses onto his face, blinking owlishly at Dan when his eyes finally adjust. He looks so at home in Dan’s room, bright pajamas against the dark backdrop of their rumpled bedsheets, and Dan feels so remarkably safe he can’t help but smile. “What?” Phil says, eyes widening and a crooked grin splitting his face. “Is it the quiff?” He rumples his hair, only succeeding in making it messier. Dan runs his hand through it to smooth it down across Phil’s forehead.

“No,” Dan murmurs, not wanting to break the golden hush of sunlight and quiet that’s fallen across his room. “I just like you.”

“I like you,” Phil answers automatically, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Now brunch,” he says, and Dan doesn’t miss the way that he trails a hand over the small of his back as he passes him. He shakes his head, admittedly still a little stunned that any of this is real, and then follows, the same stupid grin still plastered to his face.

“By the way,” Phil mumbles through a mouthful of cereal when Dan reaches the kitchen, “We should go out again soon. And date two is on you.” His eyebrows shoot up as he adds, “That rhymed! Two? You? I did it on purpose.”

“Yeah, right,” Dan scoffs, swiping the Lactaid from Phil’s hand. “Oh God, that’s so much pressure, though. I don’t fucking know where people go on dates.” Phil shrugs.

“I don’t know,” he says, face lighting up mischievously. “Guess you’ll have to figure it out.” Chuckling at Dan’s annoyed noise, he pours himself a cup of coffee before he wanders into the hallway. “I call choosing the anime,” he adds.

“I hate you,” Dan whines in response, scooping up his cereal and shuffling into the lounge. When he gets there, he crowds obnoxiously into Phil’s space, leaning close to Phil’s ear and chewing loudly on his cereal until Phil shrieks and bats him away.

“Stop it, you spoon,” Phil protests, and when Dan refuses to move his face he retaliates by kissing him swiftly on the nose. Dan rolls his eyes and sinks back against the sofa, ignoring the flush in his face in favor of pretending to watch the screen. Really, though, he watches the movements of Phil’s breath, the soft way his shoulders move when he laughs, the subconscious way his fingers flit to his hair to push it back into place. Surely, he thinks, he could watch him forever. He slides closer to let his shoulder bump up against Phil’s, drops his head into the crook of his neck. He could sit like this forever, feel like this forever. And for the first time since he can remember, forever doesn’t sound so scary.

***

“Is a movie a date?” Dan calls across the hall later that day. He’s being somewhat productive today, though he’s still curled up in bed in his pajamas. Now, though, he’s planning out his next video, making him feel at least a little bit better about his life.

“Sure,” Phil answers, and then Dan hears the unmistakable clatter of Phil inevitably knocking something over with a soft swear before he makes his way to stand in Dan’s doorway. “What made you choose a movie? Anything good playing?”

Dan shrugs. “Haven’t checked, honestly. I just thought it would be nice.”

Phil rolls his eyes, a mischievous glint flickering across his features. “I’m onto you, Howell. I’ve sat in the back row before. I know how it is.” Dan lets out a dramatically affronted gasp.

“I would never,” he protests, though he’s already blushing, because he can’t kid himself, the thought of making out with Phil in the back row of the cinema is one that has crossed his mind on more than one occasion, and maybe he has a little bit of an exhibitionist streak, but that’s not important. He catches Phil’s eyes and flushes deeper. He’s fucked; Phil definitely knows. He holds Phil’s gaze for as long as Phil will allow it, and he can’t help it if his mind wanders to Phil leaning over the armrest, tilting his head back with a long-fingered hand on his throat, the way Phil’s hand would slide down the inside of his thighs. He’s just getting around to those soft serious noises he’s learned Phil makes when he’s really getting into it when Phil breaks his trance.

“Want me to look up movie times?” he prompts, and Dan tries his best nonchalant shrug.

“I’ll do it. I don’t mind. Okay if we do something scary?” He knows Phil likes scary movies, but he also knows a cinema showing a mediocre horror movie at six in the evening will likely be deserted, and so what if maybe the majority of his plan was centered around making out with Phil’s stupidly attractive face. So what.

“All right,” Phil says, rocking back onto his heels excitedly. “Make it really scary. I’m feeling scary right now.”

“Will do,” Dan says, closing down the plans for his video and opening up his browser. “Six o’clock alright?”

“Yeah,” Phil agrees. “Can’t wait.” And maybe, just maybe, Dan thinks, there’s something hot in the depths of Phil’s stare as he looks at him for a drawn-out second and then turns to go back to his room. Jesus Christ, Dan thinks, and wonders for about the millionth time if he’s dreaming.

He’s still not entirely convinced he’s not as he continues about his day, Phil filtering in and out of his room as time passes and even bringing him pizza when lunchtime rolls around. That turns into Phil sitting at the foot of the bed for nearly an hour talking with Dan, plucking absent-mindedly at the sheets, which leads to Dan leaning forward and kissing Phil, which becomes Phil letting out a surprised _mmph_ and then drawing Dan’s lip between his teeth, which ultimately ends with long lazy minutes of Dan on his back and Phil leaned over him on his elbows kissing him gentle and slow. Dan doesn’t know quite how much time passes like that, or the exact details of when his hand moved under Phil’s shirt to rest on his chest, and he most certainly doesn’t know when Phil decided to slide his fingertips just barely under Dan’s waistband to press against his ass. Finally, though, Phil’s hand flexes and clenches at Dan’s ass, and Dan’s hips push into the air while he lets a broken moan escape him, and he gasps, “Okay, okay.”

Phil pulls back, their lips making a slick noise when they part. For a moment, Dan is dizzy with how close he is to Phil’s eyes, how he can feel his breath mixing with his, and then he explains, “Shower,” which has become their code word for _I have to go jerk off right now or else I might actually die_ , and Phil nods and lets him slide out from under him. Dan can feel Phil’s eyes burning against the back of his head as he leaves, and he barely makes it to the bathroom before he’s palming himself with a barely-controlled groan. He turns on the shower to mask the sounds of the breathy noises he makes when he quickly strips and wraps a hand around his dick, his mouth falling open when he strokes himself once, twice, and then clambers into the shower. There’s nothing graceful in the way he spreads his legs and fucks up into his fist, his head rested against his forearm on the shower wall and his cock flushed red where it pushes through the circle of his fist, but it feels so fucking good he’s barely able to keep his eyes open.

“Oh,” he says softly, his hand moving impossibly faster, because he knows, he fucking knows, that Phil is upstairs doing the same, and he thinks about the long pale expanse of Phil’s bare body, his hips thrusting up into his hand, his dark black hair splayed out in a halo around his face. He bets Phil is fucking big, and thick too, and his thumb runs over his slit as he thinks about how heavy Phil would be in his mouth, and he’s gasping now, his stomach clenching and unclenching. He thinks about tracing down Phil's body with tongue and teeth, about taking him into his mouth and the soft salty way he would taste. Briefly, he slides his hand down to cup his balls, and his spine arches when he pushes a finger back further to trace his rim. But he's far too gone to tease himself properly, his hips still rutting forward and his dick leaving faint trails of precum where he's begun to rub against the shower wall. So he brings his hand back up to jerk himself, sliding his hand up and down rapidly before he thinks about Phil’s fingers in his hair and his cock nudging the back of his throat, and he imagines looking up into Phil’s eyes before he’s coming, his hips twitching forward forcefully and his dick pulsing in his hand. He holds his free hand over his mouth as he rides out his orgasm, soft desperate moans still high enough to reach his ears even from behind his hand. For a long time after he’s finished, he stays there, letting his heart rate fall. After a few minutes, he raises his hand to the stream of the shower, grimacing as the drying come washes off of his fingers and palm and down into the drain. He stays there for a long while afterwards, washing his hair and his body and maybe basking in the afterglow of his orgasm a little bit, because it’s not like he hasn’t thought about Phil before when he’s doing this, but now it’s different, because Phil is his and he’s Phil’s, and fuck that’s a good thought. He thinks he could get used to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk man I haven't ever written something like this before but follow your heart am I right??? It's midterm week here and I also am dealing with some #mentalissues so who knows when the next chapters will be up but hopefully soon. Thanks for reading!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil go on date number 2.

When Dan goes back upstairs, Phil is in his own room, about as suspiciously flushed as he would have suspected. A thrill runs through Dan at the confirmation that he turned Phil on, that Phil wants him like that. He shoots a grin in Phil’s direction, aware of the fact that he’s half-naked in front of him, before he heads into his room, maybe swinging his hips a little more than usual.

Once he’s dressed, he comes back out and hovers in Phil’s doorway, knocking on the doorframe although he’s watched Phil’s eyes follow him across the hall.

“Want to grab dinner before the movie?” he asks. Nerves zip down his spine even though he knows Phil wouldn’t say no. Phil nods his head eagerly.

“Yes, please – I’m starving,” he says, standing to begin what Dan knows is a quest to find socks, which always seem to be scattered everywhere until Phil actually needs to find them. He scoops one, patterned with sharks, off of his bookshelf, staring at it for a second as if trying to remember what possessed him to put it there, before slipping it on his foot and continuing his search. Dan rolls his eyes.

“There’s one under your bed, dork,” he points out to Phil, and Phil leans down to snatch it up with an, “A _ha_!” He really is a dork, Dan thinks, and Jesus Christ is he happy to be standing here with this crazy chaotic human being. He leans against the doorway, a little starstruck as always, and watches Phil plop down on his bed and tie his shoelaces with surprisingly nimble fingers.

“Ready?” he asks when Phil stands up again. A tuft of Phil’s hair on the back of his head is sticking up, and Dan reaches out to smooth it down when Phil approaches.

“Yep,” Phil answers, and slips his hand into Dan’s. “Dinner and a movie. That’s about four out of ten points for originality, Danny.” Melting against Phil’s side, Dan scoffs.

“Whatever.” Before he can overthink it, Dan adds, “I’m sure I can find some way to make up the points.” He pulls his most ridiculous mock-flirting face to hide the fact that okay, maybe he can definitely think of about a million ways he could make up the points, about one percent of which involve being clothed, and Phil snorts.

“Seductive,” he teases, letting Dan walk ahead of him on the stairs down to the street. They can’t hold hands outside, of course, and they stop for just a second before opening the door.

“I like you,” Phil reminds him, planting a kiss on his temple. Dan’s eyes close for a second before he opens them again, struggling for a beat not to act like a complete lovesick idiot.

“I like you fine,” he says back, and then shrieks and hurries out of the door before Phil can grab him.

***

Dinner passes uneventfully, save for a group of fans who stop them on the way out. The two of them have always been better handling social situations like these as a team, Dan’s façade of confidence keeping their conversation afloat and Phil’s easygoing spirit rounding out Dan’s rough edges. The fans are nice, as they usually are, and after a few minutes of talking and pictures, they go their separate ways.

“Yikes,” Dan says when they’re out of earshot. “I got so fucking paranoid that they knew.”

“About us?” Phil prompts, and suddenly Dan realizes he’s verged into sensitive territory. He nods. They’re silent for a second. Phil pulls the fluffy hood of his coat up over his head, pushing his hands into his pockets.

“Do you think we would ever tell them?” Phil asks finally, his voice sounding so goddamn nervous it physically pains Dan. He bumps his shoulder into Phil’s reassuringly.

“If you wanted to,” he says, and surprises himself by actually meaning it. “I mean, not tonight or anything, but – someday. I think maybe someday I would want to. If… only if you did,” he finishes lamely, scrambling to emotionally withdraw himself from the conversation.

“Of course I would,” Phil says easily. “We have lots of time to figure it out.” He turns his head to look at Dan, not able to see him in his periphery with that ridiculous hood around his face, and his cheeks are so flushed and his eyes so bright that Dan can’t help but grin.

“Yeah,” he agrees, and then looks up at the theater. “Are you ready to get your face scared off?”

Phil groans. “I regret this so much. I’m scared already.”

Dan laughs and grabs his arm, pulling him into the rush of heat and noise of the cinema. “Come on, you big baby,” he says, and Phil follows him through the ticket line and into the theater without resisting.

Just as Dan had hoped – and is now somewhat regretting as they stand in silence staring at the empty seats – the theater is empty. He shifts on his feet, waiting for Phil to make the move on where to sit. They make brief eye contact before Phil heads to the back row.

“Back row,” Dan teases. “I see how it is.” His heartbeat picks up a little bit despite himself. Phil marches to the farthest corner, and Dan notes it’s masked to anyone not standing less than two rows in front of them by a banister.

“You don’t know,” Phil argues lamely, “It could just be my favorite seat in the theater.” He’s a little flushed, and Dan grins.

“Right,” he says, sitting down with the bucket of popcorn balanced precariously in his lap. As he sits, the advertisements and movie trailers come to life, sound flooding the room. The lights dim a bit. Dan’s admittedly a little nervous, because he has some pretty awkward middle school memories associated with the cinema, all the teenage angst over putting your arm around a girl’s shoulders or whether you kissed her goodnight, not to mention the high school sexual tension of back-row makeouts and handjobs underneath blankets. But of course, it’s easier than he thought, sitting here next to the same man he’s been next to for years now, and soon he’s settling against Phil’s shoulder, Phil slipping an arm around him. In no time, the movie’s beginning.

He can’t give it much credit for creativity, but it sure as fuck has plenty of jump scares. An hour in, he’s full-on screamed at least five times, and Phil’s heartbeat is pounding rapidly against his ear where Dan has moved to rest against his chest. Dan’s just reaching for a handful of popcorn when yet another violin-accompanied scare bursts onto the screen. Dan jumps violently, knocking half the bucket of popcorn onto Phil’s lap in the process.

“Dan!” Phil exclaims. “Put the goddamn popcorn on the floor,” he demands, eyes twinkling. He reaches out to grab the bucket.

“Nooo,” Dan whines, pulling the bucket back. “I want to eat more.”

“You’re making an actual mess, Dan,” Phil laughs. “Give it.” He pulls the bucket towards him.

“No,” Dan protests, although he’s already eaten far too much. He pulls back.

“Dan,” Phil says, and kisses him. Dan puts down the bucket. Phil laughs out loud against his lips.

“Classic distraction tactic,” Phil mutters, and leans in to slot their mouths together. Dan moans, twisting so he can face Phil. For a few minutes, they stay that way, pressing gentle kisses to each other’s mouths, both of them jumping at a particularly loud noise onscreen and breaking apart to laugh. Then they’re back together again, and Phil’s tongue is working against Dan’s lower lip, and he opens up to it. Phil licks along Dan’s tongue, pulls back only to move in closer. Dan clutches at Phil’s upper arms where they rest against the arm rest. Phil is all he can feel, smell, taste, and he notes vaguely that he's reaching up his hand to tangle in the short strands of hair at the back of Phil's head to pull him closer. Phil tastes of popcorn and the leftover mintiness of mouthwash, and his hands are soft where they cradle Dan's face. He kisses Dan like it's all he wants to do, and Dan gives himself over to it, letting out high noises when Phil sucks on his tongue or bites his lips. He loses track of how long they stay like that, but suddenly the credits are rolling. Dan pulls back, eyelids heavy, and he feels fucking drugged on it, the taste of Phil making his lips tingle.

“Fuck,” he breathes, and Phil laughs.

“Can we go home?” Phil asks, and Dan grabs his hand and practically runs down the aisle.

***

They make it all the way back into their flat without touching each other, and as soon as they close the door Phil’s pushing him up against it and kissing him. This kiss is rougher, Phil lifting Dan's arms to hold them above his head and his mouth moving hot and insistent against Dan's. When he opens his mouth to Phil, their teeth clack together briefly. Dan feels Phil's short breaths hot against his tongue.

“Oh fuck,” Dan says weakly as Phil works his way down to his neck. He sucks at the skin just beneath Dan’s jaw, his teeth nipping just on the right side of painful against the marks he’s leaving. Dan’s head hits the door with a dull thunk.

“Phil, Phil, I want you so bad,” he rambles, because he can’t keep his damn mouth shut when he gets like this, and for a second he thinks Phil will pull away, but then Phil’s kissing him hard again on the mouth. Dan whimpers, his mouth falling open, and Phil’s tongue pushes in roughly. One of Phil’s hands remains on the door above Dan’s head, but the other is working its way up his body, ghosting over his nipples and stopping to rest against his collarbones just shy of his neck. Phil runs his thumb across the pulse in Dan’s throat, and Dan’s hips kick forward.

He rubs up against Phil, and fuck Phi’s getting hard. Dan moans, tentatively rutting forwards. Phil pushes his body forward, rolls his hips so hard against Dan that Dan's back thumps against the door. He spreads his legs instinctively, letting Phil in so he can rut up against him, and Dan lets himself imagine how this would feel if it were just skin on skin. He practically fucking mewls.

Finally, Phil moves backwards. “Sorry, sorry,” he says breathlessly.

“For what?” Dan asks, and grabs both of Phil’s hands. He’s fucking crazy with want, but somehow he’s also okay with waiting, because they have one more date and then Phil is all his, and it’s going to be so fucking good.

“I didn’t mean to – you’re really hot,” Phil stutters. Dan laughs. They fall into an easy silence, Dan's pulse still fluttering. 

“Dan?” Phil asks after a moment. “Can I tell you something?” Dan’s heart drops. Something’s going to go wrong.

“Sure,” he manages, and Phil, God fucking bless him, hears it in his voice. He steps forward quickly.

“No, no, everything’s fine,” he reassures him, and Dan breathes out a sigh of relief. “It’s just – Dan, I should have told you this earlier. I – ugh.” He shakes his head, scrunching up his face in frustration. “I’ve never – I’veneverbeenwithaboy.” He says it all at once, his mouth snapping shut as soon as his confession is out, and Dan raises his eyebrows.

“Really?” It’s not like it’s that big of a deal. It’s kind of hot, if he’s completely honest with himself. “Have you – I mean, have you been with a girl?” Phil huffs out a laugh.

“Yeah. Even then, though, I – sex has never been so great for me. I just have never had, like, an amazing time, you know?” He won’t look Dan in the eyes, like this is some sort of dealbreaker, and Dan steps into his space.

“That’s ok, Phil,” he says softly, threading his fingers through Phil’s. A rush of want hits the pit of his stomach before he adds, “I can make it good for you. It’s going to be good, Phil.” Phil looks up, wide-eyed.

“You don’t mind?” he asks. Dan shakes his head.

“It’s kind of hot,” he confesses. “If you still want to, I mean.” Phil moves even closer, pushing his arms around Dan’s hips.

“Dan. I really want to.” Dan laughs dizzily, leaning up to press a long kiss to Phil’s lips.

“Me too. Now that’s out, can we please make out more? Please, for the love of God.” He and Phil both laugh, Phil pulling him tight against his body, and Dan somehow loves him even more than he wants him, and as Phil pulls him down the hallway, he realizes maybe this is the first time that’s happened. He doesn’t mind it one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I wrote this chapter in like half an hour because it's time to get on board the smut train if you know what I mean ;))) so like it's fine but let's be real it is just paving the way for some emotional loving hot SEX !!! get ready for some straight up porn in the next chapter y'all. it should be up by this weekend (hopefully earlier). I have really loved seeing that people are reading my stuff and hopefully enjoying it, and I have super duper loved hearing from y'all in the comments. It means a LOT, and I love speaking with y'all so comment if you wish it and I'll respond! Thanks for reading!! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil go on their third date.

“And what’s the moral of this video, Phil?” Dan asks, his sides sore from laughter.

“Dragons are not our friends,” Phil says emphatically, leaning forward with comically wide eyes. “Keep your eyes peeled, guys.” 

“That probably won’t be a problem, but. Yeah,” Dan adds, rolling his eyes.

“Goooodbye!” Phil says, leaning forward to turn off the camera. Dan leans back in his chair, closing his eyes. As they often did, they had chosen a game that was a little more intense than either of them had expected, and his eyes ache from staring at the screen for so long. It’s likely to be a good video, though. He feels a small smile lift the corners of his mouth. Suddenly, Phil’s hand is carding through his hair. He opens his eyes.

“That was good, wasn’t it?” Dan says, proud of himself for not stumbling over his words, because Jesus Christ is Phil close.

“Mm,” Phil hums, and Dan thinks it’s affirmative but doesn’t have the time to ask before Phil’s lips are pressing against his. Dan melts into it instantly, not able to hold back a small noise when Phil tilts his head to fit their mouths together even more closely. He can’t fucking believe how long they could have been doing this, and he can’t quite remember why they weren’t as their mouths open in synchronicity and Phil’s tongue slides against his own. The armrest is pressed against Dan’s side where he’s practically crawling out of the seat to get closer to Phil, but he doesn’t really care. His hands come up to rest flat against Phil’s chest, feel his heartbeat speed up as he moans lightly and lets his mouth fall open even more to Phil’s kiss. Finally, Dan pulls back, smirking when Phil leans forward to follow him. He lets Phil’s lip slide from between his teeth.

“What was that for?” Dan asks, his hands still on Phil’s chest. Phil shrugs.

“I just wanted to,” he says, smiling brightly. He toys with a strand of Dan’s hair for a second before he asks, “Can I make dinner here for our third date?”

“Yeah,” Dan answers immediately, barely hearing his own voice over the sudden roar of nerves in his ears. Of course, he still worries that he won’t be good enough for Phil, that he’ll mess something up, but knowing Phil, he imagines Phil feels much the same. He looks up into Phil’s eyes, sure that he sees a tinge of nervousness there too.

“Spaghetti okay?” Phil asks, and Dan nods. After a moment’s hesitation, Phil adds, “Dan, we don’t have to – nothing has to happen if you’re not ready.” It’s so like him, looking out for Dan although he’s the one who has more to worry about; this is uncharted territory for him. Dan slides his hands down Phil’s chest to take his hands in his.

“I am,” he tells him honestly. “Like, the fucked-up part of my brain is used to me feeling like I’m being… used or whatever, but I know. I know you’re not.” He can’t look at Phil when he says it, because what if he is, what if he was wrong all along, but of course Phil kisses his forehead gently and nods.

“Are you ready?” Dan asks. Phil takes a deep breath.

“I… yes. I’m just kind of nervous,” he admits. “I’ve just liked guys for a long time, and been too nervous to do anything, and… and, you know, liked you for a long time and been too nervous about that too.” He’s staring intently at his feet, and Dan kisses him on the forehead in a mirror of his actions.

“We’ll only do what you’re ready for,” he mutters against Phil’s skin, and Phil reaches out to wrap an arm around his back.

“I love you,” Phil says softly, and Dan’s hit with a rush of affection so strong he feels it throughout his whole being. He lifts Phil’s face to kiss him on the lips.

“I love you too,” he whispers, and Phil tucks his head into the crook of his neck, letting Dan hold him. Dan’s not sure how long they stay there, but he doesn’t much care. He could stay like this forever.

***

It’s four days later that they finally find the time to stay in for dinner. Dan’s sat in bed with his laptop when he smells the sauce cooking, and his head snaps up.

“Phil?” he calls out, and Phil shouts unintelligibly in response. “Are we doing dinner tonight?” There’s silence, then the scuff of feet on the floor as Phil comes to stand in his door. He’s wearing his ridiculous apron, the one that makes his look like he’s shirtless, and Dan can’t help but snort.

“I thought we would, if that was okay,” Phil says, his voice a little shy. There’s a streak of tomato paste on his forehead, and his skin is a bit flushed from the steam.

“You have tomatoes on your forehead,” Dan says dryly, laughing as Phil scrambles to wipe his face. “Yeah, that’s… that sounds good.” Phil grins at him, his gaze lingering for a second before he heads back to the kitchen. As soon as he’s gone, Dan all but leaps to his feet and goes downstairs to the bathroom, grabbing a fresh change of clothes and a towel on his way.

“I’m showering,” he yells up the stairs, wincing at how obvious that sounds, but of course he’s washing up. Just in case. He lets the water get as hot as he can take it, the mirror already beginning to fog, and then steps in, lathering up his hair and letting the water run down his shoulderblades. God, he’s nervous, not about the sex part as much as the Phil part. Sex he can do. Not fucking things up with the most important person in his life? He’s not so sure. He shudders and ducks his head under the water as if it can drown out his racing thoughts.

After a while, he picks up his body wash, working it down his body until he’s covered in faint suds. He steps under the stream until his skin is clear, then back out again. Now to make absolutely sure he’s clean. He takes a steadying breath and slips one finger inside of himself.

“Ah,” he lets out, more muscle memory than anything, but he has to admit it doesn’t feel bad, and he crooks a finger to push at his walls where he knows his prostate is. He pushes down on his finger instinctively, letting his hips roll for a second before he remembers why he’s up there in the first place and moves his finger around to make sure he’s clean. He is, but he can’t quite bring himself to take his finger out of himself yet. Instead, he adds another one.

This time, he winces; two fingers without lube is pushing it, but it’s manageable if he relaxes enough. Besides, he’s imagining now that it’s Phil pushing his fingers inside of him, pictures him crowded up behind him with one arm around his waist and the other two fingers deep in his ass, and he whimpers. He’d almost forgotten how much he fucking loves the fullness of it. His other hand moves down to his cock and starts to slowly pump and he thrusts his fingers, trying to imagine the press of Phil against his back, the way his cock would feel rutting hot against his body. He bites his lip to keep back his sounds. Fuck, he’s going to come fast, thinking about Phil like that, especially because that could be a reality, _tonight_. His toes curl against the shower floor, and the first waves of pleasure clench his stomach as he approaches his orgasm --

“Dan,” Phil calls from upstairs, and Dan’s eyes snap open. “Dinner’s ready.”

“Fuck,” Dan mutters, and there’s no way he’s coming now with the sudden wave of nerves in his gut. He twists the knob of the shower until the water is almost unbearably cold, then inhales sharply and steps underneath it. Under a combination of nerves and the cold water, his hard-on dies pretty quickly, leaving Dan shivering and more than a little distressed. He steps out of the shower and towels off, changing quickly into the fresh clothes he brought with him. Briefly, he catches his own gaze in the mirror – the Hobbit hair is rampant, God damn it – and then he turns on his heel and starts up the stairs.

“It smells amazing,” he says when he reaches the kitchen, because it really does. Phil’s already placed out two plates heaped with spaghetti on the counter, and he looks up from pouring two glasses of wine when Dan walks in.

“Thanks,” Phil says, holding Dan’s glass and plate out to him. “You look good. I like your hair like that.”

“Ugh,” Dan answers, taking them and walking to the dining room table with Phil on his heels. “Thanks. I hate it.”

“I know,” Phil says, smiling as he sits down. “I wish you didn’t.” Dan shrugs, self-conscious under Phil’s piercing gaze. He picks up his fork and quickly changes the subject.

“You really outdid yourself, Philly. Who knew you could cook?”

“Shut up,” Phil laughs, and then looks up with a start. “Oh, I forgot!” He bustles out of the room, leaving Dan to stare in his wake before he returns with two candles and a lighter.

“Are you serious?” Dan asks teasingly, and Phil blushes but sets the candles down on the table.

“If we didn’t have candles, it would just be normal dinner,” he points out, lighting them and setting the lighter beside his plate. “There. Now it’s a date.”

Dan scoffs and kicks Phil’s foot gently under the table. “You’re a nerd.”

Phil points his spaghetti-laden fork at him menacingly. “Shut up and enjoy your spaghetti, Howell,” he says, eyes narrowed and a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

“Yes sir,” Dan answers, saluting him with his fork and forgetting that there’s spaghetti on it, smacking himself in the forehead with tomato sauce. The two of them break out laughing, and Dan remembers that this is easy, that he won’t fuck up, because this is his best friend. Everything will be okay. He couldn’t be any luckier.

Soon, they’ve both finished their dinner, and the light outside has died to darkness. The candles on the table are throwing Phil’s face into soft buttery shadows.

“That was so good,” Dan says, setting down his fork. “Thanks, Phil.”

“Yeah,” Phil says. He stands with a groan. “I’ll get the dishes.” Dan watches him leave, suddenly so in tune to the minute shifting of his body, and he stands as if in a trance to follow Phil.

“You don’t have to help, I’ll get it,” Phil says when he turns to find Dan in the kitchen. “You can – mmph,” he cuts off when Dan kisses him, hard.

“Let’s leave the dishes,” Dan says lowly, licking at the juncture of Phil’s neck and jaw. Maybe it’s the wine, but he thinks maybe he just really fucking wants Phil. “Can we, Phil? I want you so bad, oh my God.” He’s dizzy with the fact that they’re doing this now, and his eyes flutter shut when Phil drags his mouth up to his and kisses him back.

“Yeah,” Phil breathes, and Dan grins, his heart leaping into his throat.

“My room?” he asks, Phil already herding him backwards. He trusts him, knows he won’t let him get hurt or fall, and he keeps backing up, his eyes still locked on Phil’s.

“Okay,” Phil agrees. They make it to the main hallway before Phil stops them dip Dan’s head back and kiss him deeply, licking immediately into his mouth. Dan’s hands scrabble to curl in the back of Phil’s shirt. By the time they make it to Dan’s room, they’re both breathing heavily. Phil kisses Dan sloppily, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him flush against his body, and Dan needs him so bad.

“Phil, please,” Dan whimpers, and the look in Phil’s eyes when he pulls back sends a full-body shiver through Dan. He lets Phil walk him backwards with steady hands against his hipbones, lets him bite hot-mouthed kisses into his neck. “Please, please,” he repeats mindlessly, his head lolling back and his hands pushing at the hem of Phil’s shirt. Phil looks up, eyes heavy-lidded.

“Can I touch you?” he whispers, and Dan falls back onto the bed.

“Please.”

Phil crawls over him, and the sight is too much for Dan. He throws his head back against the pillows, moaning shamelessly. “Fuck, Phil, Phil.”

“I know,” Phil promises, and leans down to seal their mouths together. He settles onto his elbows above Dan, his lips working hot and greedy over Dan’s mouth. Their chests are pressed together, and Dan can feel Phil’s heart beating frantically against his skin. Dan wants to rut up against him, and with anyone else he would likely have a hand down their pants by now, but he knows Phil’s nervous, and so he lets his hips twitch restlessly where he keeps them pressed flat against the bed.

Suddenly Phil’s dropping his hips down, rolling them tentatively against Dan’s, and Dan muffles his gasp against Phil’s mouth. His legs fall open, and Phil pushes smoothly between them, grinding mercilessly against Dan. Dan hooks his ankles over Phil’s back, desperate for more friction. He’s hard, and so is Phil. They both pant open-mouthed against each other when their cocks rub against each other.

“Mm, fuck. Fuck,” Dan slurs when he finally brings himself to break his mouth away from Phil’s. “How do you want it? We don’t have to – oh, oh Phil – we don’t have to go any farther if you don’t want.” Phil hasn’t hesitated in the slow roll of his hips, and Dan rocks up into it. He really could come like this, easily, but Phil seems to have other ideas.

“Can we--” Phil starts, then drops his head against Dan’s shoulder, laughing anxiously. “Can we get undressed?” Dan’s brain may possibly melt at that, just a little bit.

“Fuck yes,” he says, and since they’re about to be naked he figures now’s as good a time as any to drop his hand down and palm Phil through his pants, massaging the outline of him through the fabric. Phil hisses and thrusts against Dan’s palm.

“Is that good? That’s so hot, Phil,” Dan says close to Phil’s ear, and fuck is Phil about to find out how much of a talker Dan is, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He moans at Dan’s words, nodding dazedly.

“’S’good,” Phil murmurs, and then pulls back and rocks up to sit on his heels and peel off his shirt. Dan’s seen him shirtless before, of course, but never like this, kneeling above him with the moonlight glowing silver against his skin. He’s absolutely breathtaking. Dan runs a hand through his hair nervously and then arches up enough to bring his own shirt off.

“Are you still nervous?” Dan asks, reaching down to cup his own cock where it’s hardening rapidly.

“Yeah, a little,” Phil admits. “You?”

“A little,” Dan says, laying back down and unbuttoning his jeans. Phil’s eyes widen. “Are you nervous about me seeing you naked?” Phil only nods, his Adam’s apple bobbing. Dan grins. “Only one way to get over that,” he says, and then summons up all of his courage and wrestles his jeans and boxers off of his body.

When he’s finished, he lays back out against the bed, sprawling out beneath Phil’s hungry gaze despite the nervous tremor that runs through his body. For a few seconds, Phil is quiet. Then he says, “Dan,” so softly Dan almost can’t hear it, and leans forward to kiss him again, dipping his hand down to brush hesitantly against the heated skin of Dan’s cock.

“Oh,” Dan hums, and spreads his legs. Phil’s fingers dance along the length of him uncertainly, and Dan kisses him back as he waits for him to be ready. Suddenly, Phil’s wrapping his fingers around Dan’s cock. Dan bucks up into Phil’s fist. “Phil. Phil, that’s so good, please,” he whines, and his fingers move instinctively to Phil’s button. He looks up at Phil, who nods. With the feeling of Phil’s hands on his bare skin, it takes Dan an embarrassingly long time to get Phil’s jeans unbuttoned and unzipped. When he finally does, he pushes his hand into Phil’s pants, sliding his hand over Phil’s cock over his boxers. Phil groans, pumping Dan’s cock harder. “Can I?” Dan asks, fingers at the top of Phil’s underwear. Phil nods quickly, his eyes scrunching shut when Dan touches him. Phil’s hard and heavy in his hand, and Dan jerks him experimentally. Phil catches his lips in his own desperately, biting down enough to make Dan whimper.

“Wait,” Phil whispers, and moves back with a rustle of fabric to shimmy out of his pants and underwear. When he moves back to rest on top of Dan, he’s completely naked, and Dan thinks hazily that next time he’ll drink it all in better, look at and touch and taste every inch of Phil, but right now their bare cocks are brushing up against one another, and Dan’s leg jerks as pleasure shocks his whole body. “Phil, Phil,” he pants, curling his fingers in Phil’s hair. “Can we come like this?”

“Yes, fuck,” Phil answers, and the sound of him swearing somehow turns Dan on even more. He brings one hand down to Phil’s ass to push him closer, brings the other down to wrap around both of their cocks and bring them together. Phil whines.

“You feel so good, Phil,” Dan pants, letting out a loud moan when Phil drops his head to Dan’s shoulder and starts thrusting against him in earnest. “I’ve thought about this so much. Please, please, oh my god.” He’s been with people who have been annoyed by his talking, but judging from his noises, Phil doesn’t seem to mind at all. He looks up at Dan with lust-filled eyes.

“What did you think about?” Phil gets out, his arms snaking down to hook under Dan’s and then coming up to wrap around his shoulders so he can pull him down into his thrusts. Dan’s eyes roll back.

“Ah – ah,” he stutters, hardly able to speak. Phil’s thrusts are jostling his whole body, their balls knocking together and the heads of their cocks rubbing alongside one another. “Thought about – fuck, Phil – about you touching me like this. Fucking me, filling me up.” His voice has gone higher, desperate and pleading. Phil nips at his neck, and Dan squeezes gently around their cocks.

“I’ve thought about fucking you,” Phil says low and breathless in his ear, and Dan’s whole body arches. “How do you want me to fuck you, Dan?” Dan’s breath is coming harder than ever, his hips jolting upwards and his chest heaving.

“I –“ he breaks off, almost too embarrassed to say it, and then one of Phil’s hands moves down to trace a finger around his rim, and he all but screams. “Oh Phil, Phil, please, keep doing that,” he pleads, and then manages, “I think about … about you fucking me hard, holding me down. I think about you stretching me out, fucking me in every room of the house. I just want you,” he breathes, and then sighs when Phil’s thumb comes up to knead at the skin beneath his balls. “Fuck, Phil, are you sure you haven’t done this before?”

“I’m sure,” Phil says. “That’s so hot, Dan. I want to – I want to – I’m close,” he gasps, and Dan clutches his head where it’s fallen to rest against Dan’s collarbone.

“Me too, Phil, you feel so good,” he rambles, and now that he’s close he can hardly even hear what he’s saying. Pleasure is starting to boil low in his stomach, and his lips brush up against Phil’s ear as he whispers low and filthy. “Yeah, come on, like you’re fucking me, Phil, do it hard.” He tightens his grip on their cocks, his hips starting to jerk faster. “Come on, please, please, fuck me, come on, I want you to come on me, please.” His hand leaves Phil's ass to slip down between his own legs and press against Phil's fingers where they rest against his rim. "Phil, Phil, I want your fingers inside me, I want your cock, I want you to fill me up. Come on, Phil, yeah, imagine you're in me." Making sure Phil can feel the movement of his fingers, he pushes a single one inside himself, moaning brokenly. "Fuck me, Phil, come on, please come on me," he whines. Phil groans, his hands clenching down – one on Dan’s shoulder, one in the flesh of his thigh – and he drives his hips upwards one last time. Dan feels Phi’s cock pulsing in his hand before warmth pools across the skin of his stomach. _I made Phil come_ , he thinks, and that’s it. He bites down on his hand as he comes, hips thrusting weakly as he rides it out. He’s not sure how long they stay there, both of them breathing hard.

Finally, Phil lifts his head. “Oh my God,” he says weakly, and Dan laughs. He flings an arm out to pick up his shirt, wiping off the both of them.

“Yeah,” he says, pulling back the covers without getting off the bed. “Sleep?”

“Mhm,” Phil agrees, and as soon as he lays down next to him, Dan tucks into his chest. “When we wake up, we should--” he breaks off, embarrassed, as if Dan hadn’t been jerking him off just seconds ago.

Dan looks up sleepily. “Fuck again and again and forever?” he offers, and Phil lets out a snort of laughter.

“Yeah,” he agrees, stroking Dan’s head gently. “Do you feel alright?”

“So good,” Dan mumbles. “You?”

“Me too,” Phil assures him. “I think we did the right thing. Waiting and everything.”

“Me too,” Dan says, and kisses him before curling up against him, tucking his knees up to rest against Phil’s side. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Phil murmurs. Dan falls asleep smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UH a gay demon literally possessed me to write this?? I lost track of time and space please someone call an exorcist. Anyways that was a journey!!! I hope this was okay, and I am planning on adding one more chapter of PURE SEX PROBABLY and then adding more to the series too. Also thank y'all SO MUCH for your sweet comments -- I love reading them and answering them and speaking to all of you so really comment anytime!! I really hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, and keep an eye out for the next part soon. Thanks for reading! <3  
> ***PS y'all I am not trying to be offensive saying a gay demon possessed me I am literally gay i am the gay demon it's ok love y'all bye ***


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They’re happy – more than happy, really – just like that for weeks. Dan wakes Phil up with sleepy blowjobs, Phil interrupts editing to make out with Dan and rut lazily against him until they both get off, they get drunk and Phil fucks Dan’s thighs while he murmurs low and dirty in his ear until they both come noisily. It’s good, so fucking good, and Dan feels high on it all the time. All those years they could have had are here now, filling them with energy and want and love so strong it makes Dan tear up sometimes. There’s only one other thing he could want at this point. And that’s for Phil to fuck him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends this is a part of a series so it might make more sense if you start at the beginning but do what you want!! Hope you enjoy! <3

Dan wakes up with Phil sucking lightly on his neck. He groans, throwing his legs apart so Phil can move between them. Both of them are still naked.

“Good – good morning,” he says, opening his eyes to look at Phil’s head moving just below his jawline and then closing them again. It’s too much, too fucking much, and he can’t believe this is something he gets to have every day. Phil hums in response, biting down lightly. Dan rolls his hips up. Phil’s hard already, and Dan’s getting harder by the second.

“Do you want to shower?” he whispers against Phil’s hair. Come is still dried tight against his stomach, despite his attempts to clean it off last night. And maybe he wants to shower with Phil, maybe it’s been a fantasy of his for a while, but that’s neither here nor there. Phil nods and pulls off of his neck with a _pop_ and a twinge of pleasure-pain. He looks steadily into Dan’s eyes.

“Yeah,” he says, his hair spiked up into a quiff and then some, and he looks so fucking hot Dan just lets himself sit there for a second, staring breathlessly back at Phil.

“I want you so bad,” Dan says, and lets his hand trail across the side of Phil’s face. Phil leans into it, face so vulnerable Dan feels a twinge in his chest. “Come on.”

They make it out of bed after a while, Dan grumbling a little bit when his bare feet hit the cold floor but following Phil nonetheless. As soon as they’re both in the hallway, Phil steps close behind Dan, curling his arms around his waist.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Dan laughs, trying embarrassingly hard not to seem affected by Phil’s breath hot against his neck.

“I don’t want you to look at my arse,” Phil mumbles in his ear, and Dan lets out a shout of laughter.

“This is really inconvenient, you know,” he says mildly at the same time that he places his hands over Phil’s on his stomach, letting him trail close behind him on the way down the steps. Their feet tangle occasionally, but somehow they make it to the bathroom without tripping.

“God, I need to shower,” Dan complains, and breaks away to turn the faucet on. When he stands back up, Phil has moved close again, and when he wraps his arms around him this time, he slips his hand down to palm Dan’s cock. Dan’s head falls back onto Phil’s shoulder. “Fuck, you’re more confident today,” he murmurs, reaching an arm behind his head to reach Phil’s head and craning his neck so he can look him in the eyes. “Phil – that feels good.”

“Yeah?” Phil asks, kissing Dan lightly on the lips before he steps away from him and into the shower. Dan practically whines, clambering in after him. As soon as they’re underneath the water, Dan wraps his arms around Phil’s neck, kissing him desperately. Phil kisses him back, pushing Dan up against the wall and holding his hips firmly when Dan squirms at the coldness against his back.

“Are you okay?” he whispers, and Dan nods half-frantically, moaning when Phil steps into his space and kisses him again. They’re both fully hard now, their hips moving lazily against each other’s and their tongues pushing into each other’s mouths. Phil’s hand moves down, ghosting over Dan’s spine and leaving goosebumps in its wake, settling finally on Dan’s ass. He kneads the skin there gently, making Dan gasp against his mouth. “Dan,” Phil says after a few minutes, “Can I ask you something?”

“Yes,” Dan answers, because Jesus Christ Phil is so hard and so fucking _big_ against him, and all he can think about is Phil moving inside of him, his whole body rocking into it, and Phil could ask him anything right now and he would answer. Phil leans forward to plant his arms on either side of Dan’s head, and Dan takes in a sharp breath.

“Will you teach me to blow you?” Phil asks, and Dan brings a hand up to cover his eyes.

“Oh my God,” he says hoarsely. “Yes, fuck. Do you – do you want to?” Fuck, he wants it, but he also feels the nervous energy in Phil’s muscles, radiating off of his skin, and more than anything he wants Phil to be happy. But Phil is nodding, looking up at him through wet eyelashes, and that’s all Dan’s resolve can take. “Okay,” he whispers, and just like that Phil folds down onto his knees, looking up at him expectantly.

“You promise you’ll tell me how to do it?” he asks, bringing a hand up to Dan’s cock, so tantalizingly close to his mouth. “It… it makes me feel better to know how to do things.” Dan nods, running a reverent hand through Phil’s hair.

“You’re a nerd,” he grins, and of course Phil would want step-by-step instructions on how to suck him off, but he’s not complaining one bit. He moves his thumb across Phil’s cheekbone. “You tell me when you’re ready, yeah?” Phil nods, his free hand clenching and unclenching against his own thigh.

“I – yeah, okay. I’m ready.”

“You don’t have to be nervous,” Dan reminds him softly. “You stop when you want to, okay? Anything you do will be fucking amazing.” Phil smiles up at him in response, stray droplets from the shower against his shoulders splattering up to plaster his fringe against his forehead.

“I want to. Tell me how?” Phil asks, and moves his hand smoothly up Dan’s cock and back down again. Dan bites his lip.

“Okay – okay.” He closes his eyes briefly to clear his head, his brain ringing with _Phil Phil Phil_. “Put your mouth on – just on the top. And the rest, your hand can… oh, oh fuck,” he breaks off as Phil follows his orders. He watches Phil’s lips seal around the head of his cock, like he has in every single wet dream he’s had for almost the past fucking decade. Phil sucks, hard, without Dan even telling him to, and Dan clenches his jaw. “Phil, is this your first time?” he asks through gritted teeth, and Phil hums out, _Mhm_ , with his lips still sealed around Dan. “Oh God, that’s – you’re really good,” he tells him, twisting his fingers gently through Phil’s hair. “You can go down more if you want, or you don’t have to. That’s so good, Phil, you’re so good just like this.” But of course Phil sinks down lower, taking in almost half his cock before he pulls back with a slight gagging noise. “That’s good, that’s okay,” Dan soothes, his head tilted back to the ceiling now. “It’s so good, you’ve done so well.” Phil bobs back down, this time lingering with the back of his throat fluttering around the head of Dan’s cock and his hand squeezing the rest of him. Dan lets out a near-shout. Phil moves up, then back down, setting up a steady rhythm, and fuck he must have learned this from porn or _somewhere_ , because he definitely knows what he’s supposed to be doing. One of his hands comes up to massage Dan’s balls. Dan groans.

“Hey,” he says after a while, and pulls Phil back up his body with a steadying hand on his elbow. He kisses him, tasting himself on Phil’s tongue and licking even further into his mouth in response. Phil’s hands are shaking a bit. Dan pulls back. “Are you okay?” he whispers, and Phil nods.

“I was just nervous,” he laughs, brushing his nose against Dan’s. “Was it alright? I can--”

“It was so fucking good, Phil,” Dan interrupts, sinking down to his knees in front of him. “Can I?” Phil swallows audibly and nods. Dan places his hands on Phil’s thighs and takes a deep breath. This, he can do.

“Dan,” Phil says sharply when Dan sinks almost all the way down on him in one go. He pulls back briefly, then sinks back, this time relaxing enough to let Phil in all the way. Phil’s big, about the same length as he is but definitely thicker, and he gags once, hard enough to pull back again. A line of spit grows and snaps between his mouth and Phil’s dick. “Dan, you--” _You don’t have to_ , Phil was probably about to say, but Dan doesn’t give him time before he goes back down again, this time taking him all the way and staying there. He moans around the length of him, because fuck he likes being full like this, and his hand drifts mindlessly to his own cock.

“You can move,” Dan moves back to whisper, and Phil moves his hips forward tentatively when Dan takes him in his mouth again. He’s not rough, like some people have been with Dan, but he sets up a gentle rolling rhythm into Dan’s mouth. Dan whimpers at the feeling of Phil’s cockhead hitting the back of his throat. His hand moves faster where he’s jerking himself off.

“Dan, are you getting off on this?” Phil whispers, a hint of awe in his voice. His fingers curl against Dan’s scalp, and his hips jerk slightly. Dan’s eyes fall shut in pleasure.

“Mhm,” Dan hums around Phil’s cock. Then he pulls back and asks, knowing full well what he hopes it’ll do Phil, “Can you come in my mouth?”

“Oh,” Phil says, his eyes gone wide, and Dan doesn’t have much time to be smug before he’s diving back in to suck at the tip of Phil’s cock, his other hand moving swiftly over the rest. “Dan, Dan, I think I’m close.” Dan only nods a little and moves faster, bobbing his head down occasionally to let Phil hit the back of his throat. He’s thrusting mindlessly into his own fist now, soft moans and whimpers falling from his mouth. “I’m going to – Dan,” Phil groans, and Dan lifts Phil’s hands up to cup the back of his skull, lets himself go still so Phil can pull his mouth forward onto him. Phil’s hips grind in minute circles as he comes on the back of Dan’s tongue. Dan keeps his nose pressed against Phil’s stomach as he comes too, his whole body shaking as he breathes heavily through his own orgasm.

After a moment of silence, Dan stands, groaning as his knees pop. “That was good, right?” he says, brushing Phil’s hair out of his face. Phil’s face is still slack, his eyes slightly unfocused.

“Uh… yeah. Yes,” he finally answers, blinking. “I’m, like, kind of dead right now. That was. That was good.” Dan laughs lightly and presses a kiss to Phil’s lips.

“Real shower now?” he offers, and Phil nods, taking the shampoo from the shelf beside them and reaching up to lather Dan’s hair. “I can wash my own hair,” Dan protests, leaning into Phil’s hands. Phil nods.

“I know, Bear,” he says softly, and kisses the end of Dan’s nose. “I know.”

***

They’re happy – more than happy, really – just like that for weeks. Dan wakes Phil up with sleepy blowjobs, Phil interrupts editing to make out with Dan and rut lazily against him until they both get off, they get drunk and Phil fucks Dan’s thighs while he murmurs low and dirty in his ear until they both come noisily. It’s good, so fucking good, and Dan feels high on it all the time. All those years they could have had are here now, filling them with energy and want and love so strong it makes Dan tear up sometimes. There’s only one other thing he could want at this point. And that’s for Phil to fuck him.

He brings it up one day, somewhat inconveniently when he’s kneeling over Phil, jerking him off on the couch. The TV runs in the background.

“Phil?” he says, swiping his thumb over the head of Phil’s cock. Phil lets out a breathy noise that Dan takes to be one of affirmation. “When are we going to – I mean. Do you want to talk about when we’re going to… you know? To fuck?” By the time he’s stuttered through his whole sentence, he’s blushing furiously, but all of a sudden, Phil’s coming with a muffled shout, his eyes widening at Dan’s words.

“Um,” Phil says weakly after he’s regained his breath, grinning a little sheepishly. “Obviously, I… I really want to. Do you?” Dan nods, pressing absent-minded kisses into Phil’s shoulder as he jerks himself off.

“Yes,” he says against Phil’s Adam’s apple. “I just wanted you to be ready. Because we can wait.” He moans softly as Phil brushes his hand aside and starts to stroke him, his hand slick with spit and some of his own cum, which he must have scooped off of his stomach.

“I’m ready,” Phil says low, his lips brushing against Dan’s hairline. “Do you want me to fuck you, Dan?” Dan fucking _knows_ he’s not really asking, that he’s already learned how much talking turns him on, and he whimpers helplessly, his hips jerking. “Come on, Dan. Think about it. Tell me how you want it.” He bites down on Dan’s earlobe.

“I want you – I want you to –“ Dan breathes, and then comes all over Phil’s stomach, gasping softly as he comes down from his high. “Fuck, Phil.” He runs shaking hands through his hair, his forehead slightly damp from sweat. “Do you really want to?”

Phil nods earnestly. “Yes,” he says confidently, only a glint of nerves in his eyes. “I think we’re ready. Don’t you?” As he speaks, he wipes off his and Dan’s stomachs with one of their discarded sweatshirts.

“Yeah,” Dan replies, because he really fucking does, and he feels safer curled up half-naked against Phil’s chest than he ever has with anyone else, and he loves him and wants him so bad he can hardly take it sometimes. “Whenever you want, Phil.” He lets out a soft, content noise when Phil pulls his lips between his own, not wanting anything at all, just feeling.

“I love you,” Dan says when they sit back.

“I love you too,” Phil answers, and then pushes at Dan’s shoulder. “Come on, we have to make a gaming video today. Get up, you lazy oaf.” Dan flops down dramatically across Phil’s chest, refusing to let him move.

“Noooo,” he protests, his nose pressed to the center of Phil’s collarbones. “Not work, Philly, come on.”

“Up,” Phil repeats, and heaves Dan into a standing position as he stands up himself. “It’ll be fun, come on.” Dan groans and maneuvers back into his pants, Phil tucking himself back in and then taking Dan’s hand to lead him upstairs. Their fingers interlock as they walk, and Dan doesn’t miss the happy sigh that escapes Phil as they go. This, he thinks, is all they ever wanted.

***

“This is a big deal, you know,” Phil says later that night, after they’ve gotten the footage for the video and thrown together dinner. They’re sitting at the dining room table, the sunset casting a violet glow over the walls.

“Hm?” Dan says, a mouthful of stir-fry not really contributing to his conversational skills. Phil sighs.

“Sex,” he says, and spears a vegetable on the end of his fork. “It’s… I don’t know. It’s different. It’s important. Emotionally.”

“I know,” Dan says quickly, clamming up instinctively as they approach emotional territory. Phil’s eyes, ever sharp, don’t miss the change in his face.

“Are you sure?” Phil says softly, laying a hand down on Dan’s where it rests on the table. “You know, we can wait however long you want. I know things haven’t always been… good for you with this stuff.”

“Yeah,” Dan grunts noncommittally, because maybe he’s been fucked over with this stuff, but he most definitely isn’t going to talk about it now. “It’s fine.” He looks up into Phil’s eyes, so open and blue, and sighs. His resolve to be completely unemotional about all this crumbles instantly. “Phil. I love you. It’ll be different. Right?”

Phil smiles, wide and so goddamn happy Dan’s very being aches. “Of course. Of course it will.” And Dan knows it will be.

After dinner, they both clear the table, Dan washing the dishes and Phil drying and putting them carefully back in their places. Dan keeps his head down, watches the suds flicker and pop around his fingers. He’s going to be okay. He’s going to be fine. When he washes the last dish, he leaves the water running just to watch it bubble around his hands.

He inhales sharply when Phil comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around his stomach and tucking his face into Dan’s neck. It’s not scary, not even sexual, really, and Dan turns the tap off and leans back into the warmth of the body behind him, breathing in Phil’s fresh vanilla smell.

“I really do love you,” Phil says against his shoulder, and Dan feels warm all the way into his fingertips.

“I know,” he says, and then adds, “Me too.” Because Jesus fucking Christ does he love this boy tucked against his body, and he couldn’t even have imagined how much he could have loved him in this moment. He rests his hands over Phil’s against his midriff. “Would you kiss me?”

“Yeah,” Phil says, and tilts Dan’s head back with a hand on his jaw. It’s soft, easy, Phil’s mouth strong and forgiving all at once. Dan puts his whole body into it, opens up and pushes out his tongue gently to meet Phil’s. He doesn’t remember ever letting anyone in like this, letting them move into the soft spaces of his mouth and map out the curvature of his teeth. He kisses Phil like he breathes, natural and soft and so fucking good.

“Phil,” Dan says quietly, and his hips roll back gently. “Do you want--?”

“If you do,” Phil breathes, and turns Dan to face him and seals his mouth over his again. He kisses Dan hungrily, like he might lose him at any moment, and Dan circles his arms around the back of Phil’s neck to let him know he’s there, that he’s not leaving him, not then or ever. He nods against Phil, makes sure he can feel it, and then rolls his hips again. Phil’s already hardening, and Dan is too. Phil moves to slot their legs together, and Dan hums when Phil’s thigh presses hard against his crotch. He ruts against it, whimpers when one of Phil’s hands moves to rest underneath the bolt of his jaw. He wants Phil to have him, own him, in all the ways he can. He breaks their kiss to lead Phil down the hall to his bedroom.

“God,” Phil says when they get there, his eyes wild and his lips shining. Dan feels his eyes track a white-hot path down his body as he lifts his shirt up over his head, and as soon as it’s off Phil is on him, running his hands gently over the rungs of Dan’s ribcage and across the expanse of his chest and stomach. Phil’s always been a sensory person, like he needs to physically feel things to understand them, and it’s no different with this; he always touches Dan’s body like he wants to learn it, like it’s something precious. Dan’s still not quite used to it, but he’s finding that he rather likes it. He sighs as Phil presses gentle fingers into the dips of his collarbone, rubs circles over the soft lines of his hipbones.

“Now yours,” Dan finally demands, tugging at the hem of Phil’s shirt. Phil gets the message, blushing as always once his chest is bare. He’s self-conscious for some reason Dan can’t quite understand, and it triggers something hot and protective in him. He pushes Phil backwards cautiously and crawls over him once Phil’s laid down on the bed. Phil watches him with wide eyes, his chest rising and falling a little more quickly than usual.

“You still nervous?” Dan asks, and ducks his head down to suck at Phil’s neck, on the muscle right above his shoulder, just where he likes it. Phil lets out a soft _ah_ , his legs coming up to open around Dan’s body.

“Kind of,” he says, one hand resting in the curve above Dan’s hip. “I just want it to be good for you.” His sentence trails off, his voice slightly higher than usual, when Dan moves down to press biting kisses in a wandering line down his chest.

“Phil,” Dan says seriously, “You’re always good for me.” He means it, and he’s glad his eyes are out of Phil’s sight, because maybe he tears up for just a second. He blinks it back and sucks a hickey over Phil’s heart.

“You too,” Phil says, squeezing Dan’s hip. “I’m sorry I’m nervous.” He’s always been a nervous person, more than he usually lets on, and Dan’s heart twinges. He moves back up for a moment to kiss Phil hard, their noses bumping and making both of them let out a breathless laugh when they pull back.

“Don’t be sorry,” Dan says firmly. “I'm nervous too, a little.” Christ, he doesn’t want to fuck this up, and he’s forgotten how nervous he was until he says it, but he keeps going. “But it’s okay, yeah? It’s just me. It’s me.” He rests his forehead on Phil’s, one of his hands finding his and curling up in it reassuringly. “I just want to make you feel good. You can’t do anything wrong.” He kisses Phil gently and then works back down his body, biting softly at Phil’s hipbone while one of his hands travels down to palm at the bulge in Phil’s pants.

“ _Ah_ , Dan,” Phil says. “I can’t do anything wrong? What if I – what if I sang the national anthem the whole time?”

“Shut up,” Dan laughs against Phil’s skin, and grinds his hand teasingly up Phil’s length. Phil stifles a moan.

“What if I wanted to call my mum and put her on speakerphone?” Phil says, and Dan shrieks.

“For fuck’s sake, stop,” he laughs, and moves back up Phil’s body. Phil’s laughing, his eyes bright and his tongue between his teeth, and Dan kisses him with laughter still bubbling between their mouths. Phil’s not so smug when Dan drops his hips down and grinds up slowly against him.

“Mmph,” Phil says, eyes widening and hands clenching down on Dan’s arms. “Jeans, jeans, Dan.” Dan grins triumphantly and moves to unbutton their pants.

“You can get out of your own skinny jeans,” he says, because fuck if they haven’t learned that there’s no sexy way to de-skinny jean someone. He rolls off of Phil and onto his back so he can shimmy out of his pants, turning his head to watch Phil do the same. When they’re both in their boxers, Dan moves to straddle him again. This time when Dan rolls his hips against Phil’s, he can feel everything: the hot outline of Phil’s cock through the fabric, the faint wetness that’s collected at the tip of it, how hard he is against Dan’s own cock moving beside his. “You’re so big, Phil, you feel so good,” Dan says softly, and maybe it sounds like a bad porno, but he’s given up on trying to keep his mouth from running when they’re like this. It feels far too good. “I want you so bad, please.” He lets out a startled noise when Phil taps his hip to move and then flips them over, moving instantly between Dan’s legs.

“Kiss me,” Phil demands gently, and Dan presses his lips to his immediately, their mouths moving in wet hot familiarity and Phil’s tongue dipping between Dan’s lips. Dan whines. Where he’s humping against Dan, their lengths rubbing tantalizingly alongside one another’s, Phil slides his hands up Dan’s thighs to move underneath his boxers. He lets his hands rest there, possessive, and then one of them moves upward to tease at Dan’s balls and the base of his dick. Dan moans into their kiss.

“Can we take these off?” Dan asks, and when Phil nods, he slides his boxers quickly off of his body. Phil mirrors him. They both gasp when they come back together to push against each other, bare. Phil’s skin is hot everywhere it touches Dan, along the inside of his thighs and against his ass and in the press of their chests and lips. Dan rocks up into it, letting out tiny broken sounds that Phil swallows greedily.

“You’ll show me how?” Phil asks, only pulling back ever so slightly, so that their lips still brush when he speaks. Dan nods, a little caught up in the slick way their cocks rock together, but eventually shimmying out from under Phil and reaching over to the bedside table to grab lube. His hand hovers over the condoms beside it.

“Are you clean?” he asks over his shoulder. Phil nods. “Like – like just got tested clean? As in, when were you tested?”

“Oh my god,” Phil laughs, and smacks playfully at Dan’s thigh. Dan may or may not like that more than he lets on, but that’s for a different time. “Yes, like just got tested. Like a year ago, after that one girl I brought back. And I haven’t been with anyone since.”

“Good,” Dan says, jealousy spiking irrationally in his chest at the thought of that girl. He lays the lube down on the bed and pulls Phil’s mouth down to his into a bruising kiss, pulling back to nip at the underside of Phil’s jaw. “You’re mine now.” He tries to say it as a joke, and maybe fails a bit, because Phil kisses him deep and nods, guiding Dan so he’s laid back down under Phil’s body.

“Yours,” he agrees, reaching a hand down to squeeze their cocks together. Dan moans and plants his heels on the bed so he can rock up into it.

“Phil, Phil, can you – please, I want your fingers in me,” he pleads, and fumbles to find the lube bottle again. He finally finds it, pushes it into Phil’s hands.

“One finger first, yeah?” Phil asks, his brow furrowing, and Dan nods, remembering how fucking nervous Phil probably is. He's never done this before, after all. Dan pops the bottle open himself, takes Phil’s hand in his so he can squirt lube over one finger.

“One first,” he confirms. “And sometimes it’ll take longer, but I… when I showered before dinner, I stretched some.” He blushes lightly but takes Phil’s wrist to press one finger against him. Phil shuffles back a little to accommodate the angle, so he’s propped on one hand above Dan’s body. “Just – try to go slow at first, okay?” Dan’s suddenly aware that his heart is beating incredibly fast, that Phil was right; this is fucking important, not always to him but absolutely when it’s with Phil. He looks up into Phil’s eyes while Phil traces around his rim.

“I love you,” Phil says quietly, and Dan leans up onto his elbows so he can kiss Phil again. It’s so good, so soft and careful that Dan almost doesn’t notice when Phil slips his finger into him. Dan whines into the kiss, his back arching because Phil is _inside_ of him. His fingers tangle in the bedsheets.

“Phil, Phil,” he whispers as Phil pulls back to look at where his finger is disappearing inside of Dan. “I love you too. Another, please.” Phil’s mouth is hanging open, his eyes fixed on his finger where he’s still pumping it into Dan. He swallows and looks up.

“Another?” Phil asks, and he sounds absolutely fucking wrecked already. Dan nods, letting his legs fall open wider. Pulling out his finger, Phil picks the bottle back up. “How much?” he says softly, and Dan sighs dramatically and takes Phil’s hand and the bottle, grinning reassuringly at Phil when he locks eyes with him.

“Like this, yeah?” he says, and coats two of Phil’s fingers. “At least enough to cover them. But you can’t really have too much.” He keeps his eyes on Phil’s while he smoothes the lube over his fingers, letting his other hand curl around Phil’s wrist. “Put one finger first, and then another. You’ve never fingered yourself before?” He sighs and shifts his hips as Phil pushes one finger back into him.

“No,” Phil says breathlessly. “Have you?” He withdraws his fingers only to push two back in, pausing halfway to watch Dan’s face before he steadily pushes all the way in.

“Mhm,” Dan whimpers, rolling his hips down onto Phil’s fingers. He falls onto his back, reaching up a hand to run through Phil’s hair. “Thought about you while I was doing it.”

“Mm,” Phil lets out, pulling a lip between his teeth. “How? Tell me.” He scissors his fingers, his other hand coming up to clutch at Dan’s thigh. Dan’s eyes fall to Phil’s cock where it stands flushed and heavy between his legs, his hips twitching forward mindlessly.

“Just wanted you to fuck me,” he says, “However you wanted. Thought about sucking you off, choking on it.” His hips stutter, and he throws an arm over his face as he rocks his hips down. “Thought – Phil, Phil, yeah, curl up right there, fuck – thought about you holding me down, fucking pounding me -- _fuck, Phil_.” He’s embarrassingly turned on by this, especially because Phil’s curling his fingers up to nudge curiously at Dan’s prostate.

“Look at me,” Phil says hoarsely, and a small thrill pushes through Dan’s chest at the command. He pulls his arm off his face to look up at Phil. He’s so fucking beautiful, his face flushed and his hair beginning to curl at his forehead. “Can you take another?”

“Yes, please,” Dan says, and this time Phil does it on his own, slicking up his fingers and working his fingers back into Dan. “Oh, oh,” Dan breathes, the stretch burning. He wants it so bad, wants to feel Phil all over him, wants it to make him sore. “Phil, Phil, yeah, that’s so good.” His eyes flicker down to where Phil’s begun to jerk himself off, his face slack with pleasure. He lets him finger him for a while longer, the slick sounds of Phil’s fingers in him and his hand on his cock the only sounds in the room. “I’m ready,” Dan finally says, and Phil’s eyes snap up to his.

“You’re sure?” he asks. Dan nods, his arms coming up to loop around Phi’s neck as he crawls to settle over him. Phil reaches down one more time to squirt more lube on his fingers, pushing more into Dan’s hole and slicking the rest down over his cock.

“Put this under my back,” Dan offers, reaching up behind his head to grab a pillow. Phil complies, not breaking eye contact with Dan as Dan arches up and lets Phil slide the pillow beneath his hips. “Are _you_ ready?” He can’t look away from Phil, and he thinks he could get drunk on it, just looking at him with that look in his eyes.

“Yes,” Phil says lowly, pressing needy kisses to the corners of Dan’s mouth, his forehead, his eyelids. “Can I?”

“Please, please,” Dan begs, and then Phil’s reaching his hand down to guide his cock to Dan’s entrance, his thumb rubbing soothingly against Dan’s rim before he pushes. The head of his cock pushes past the first ring of muscles, and Dan’s mouth falls open.

“Dan,” Phil says.

“Yeah, I’m here, come on,” Dan promises, and Phil drops his head down and pushes in further. He moves past the second ring, and then he’s pushing in steadily, stopping a few times to watch Dan’s face for any signs of discomfort before he keeps going. Dan grits his teeth – it’s just the right side of too much, and he can’t feel anything other than the full pulsing pleasure inside of him. He’s letting out a stream of high whines he can’t really control, Phil panting softly in his ear as he rocks his hips into Dan and finally bottoms out. “Mmph,” Phil bites out, kissing Dan’s neck open-mouthed. “That’s – Dan. “

“Mm,” Dan moans in agreement, and then thrusts his hips down. “You can move.” Phil pulls his hips back tentatively, his stomach dragging over Dan’s cock before he pushes back in. It’s good. It’s really fucking good, Dan thinks, his mind already growing hazy as Phil thrusts in and out again.

“It’s so good,” Phil murmurs, echoing Dan’s thoughts, and Dan nods.

“You can go faster if you want,” he whispers, and that seems to be all the permission Phil needs. He thrusts again, making Dan jolt. “Ah, ah, Phil,” Dan whines, moving his hips down to meet Phil’s so hard their skin slaps audibly as Phil sets up a steady rhythm. He’s dropped down to rest against his forearms, breath coming out hot against Dan’s mouth while he fucks up into him. Dan lifts up his legs to cross them at the small of Phil’s back, and suddenly Phil’s cock is brushing up against his prostate on every thrust. “Phil,” Dan says sharply, forgetting how to breathe when Phil’s blue eyes come open an inch away from him, looking down at him hazily. “That’s – right there, that’s so good, Phil.”

“It’s good?” Phil asks, and in response Dan digs his heels down into Phil’s ass to push him further into him. He’s so, so full, and he arches so hard the tops of his shoulders almost lift off the bed, his hands scrabbling for purchase against Phil’s back.

“Phil,” he half-sobs, clinging to Phil and burying his face in Phil’s neck as his thrusts bounce his whole body. “Phil, Phil.” It’s all he can say, all he can think, and heat’s building low in his body. He grinds into it, chases it, and Phil moans when Dan clenches down around his cock. He pushes his mouth sloppily against Dan’s in a panting kiss, his hand moving up to Dan’s jaw so he can grab Dan’s chin and steer him into it. Then his thumb pushes up higher, pressing down on the thickness of Dan’s bottom lip, pulling his mouth open and resting flat against his tongue. “Mmh,” Dan manages, letting Phil pull his mouth open and lick into it, the taste of his skin salty and fucking addictive against his tongue. Phil’s strong, all broad hips and shoulders, and the way he’s fucking Dan is unlike anything he’s ever felt before. He feels small, for fuck’s sake, so filled up and taken care of. He bites gently at Phil’s thumb to stem the broken noises coming from his throat.

“Come on, make noise for me,” Phil says, pulling his thumb out of Dan’s mouth and letting it drag wetly across his jaw. Something snaps in Dan.

“I’m not going to last much longer,” he admits, and Phil nods, the softness of his hair pushing up against Dan’s forehead. “Mm – mm, Phil.” He wants to talk, wants to tell Phil how fucking much he loves him, but the hot thick drag of Phil’s cock inside of him is making him dizzy. Instead he tilts his hips up to Phil, lets himself make the noises Phil was asking for. It’s almost embarrassing, how high-pitched and desperate his moans have gotten, but Phil’s eyes are fixed, dark, on his mouth, and he thinks Phil might just like it. “Oh, fuck, Phil,” Dan whispers. “Touch me, touch me, please.” Phil obliges quickly, and Dan feels the muscles in his back shifting as he balances on one arm and reaches down to jerk Dan off. As soon as his hand curls around his cock, Dan’s words come back to him in a hot rush.

“Phil, Phil, you’re so good, fuck, you’re so big, fuck me, come on,” he begs, and Phil moans against Dan’s temple. “Phil. Phil. No one’s ever fucked me like this, Phil, it’s so good, it’s so fucking good.” He’s rambling a bit, but he means it more than he’s ever meant anything. Phil’s hips begin to jerk erratically, and Dan thrusts down hard to meet them. “Come on, are you going to come in me?” he whispers, blushing a bit at his own words as he trails a hand up to card through Phil’s hair. “Please, please, fill me up, I want it so bad.” His voice is a pure whine now, but he can’t help it, because fuck Phil’s hand feels so good wrapped around him, thumbing over his slit on the upstroke and squeezing firmly on the way down. Phil’s thighs are sweaty against Dan’s ass where he’s pushing frantically into him. Dan’s breath has begun to come out in short hiccup-like bursts. Warmth is pooling in his stomach, hot points of pleasure radiating from Phil’s fingers wrapped around him and his cock pushing and pulling deep inside of him. He can’t keep back the tiny _ah_ , _ah_ , _ahs_ falling from his lips every time Phil pushes back into him, splitting him open to take him over and over again. Dan’s hands trail down to part his own cheeks and press his fingers against his hole, pushing slippery fingers to feel Phil’s cock where it’s driving into him. Phil groans, thrusting in so hard Dan has to put an arm up against the headboard to keep himself from moving up further. He uses the leverage to push down hard into Phil’s movements.

“Phil, Phil, Phil,” he chants, and then it’s too much, and he’s coming, eyes squeezing tight and pleasure pulsing over him in a bright hot wave. His cock jerks in Phil’s hand, and he feels come pulsating warmly up onto his stomach. “Mmph, Phil,” he whines, hips still jerking through the aftershocks of his orgasm. Phil’s still going, his mouth open slightly and his eyes fixed on Dan’s.

“Oh my god,” Phil chokes out, and Dan pushes the hair off of Phil's forehead, squeezes down around his cock.

“Yeah, come on,” he urges him. “I love you so much, Phil, it was so good, you took such good care of me.” And then he breaks off as Phil whines under his breath, his hips stilling and grinding mercilessly against Dan’s prostate as he comes. Dan gasps brokenly but holds still, letting Phil come in him and ride out his orgasm. Finally, Phil stops moving and collapses against Dan.

“Shit,” Dan breathes, and moves to tuck Phil’s head under his chin. “Are you alright?”

“Ugh,” Phil replies weakly, and pulls out so he can curl up beside Dan.

“Same,” Dan says dryly, his heart still thudding. “Was it good for you?”

“Fuck yes,” Phil says, and Dan’s eyes widen at the swear.

“That good?” he teases, and tilts Phil’s head up so he can look him in the eyes. “I love you. Really.” Phil’s flushed a beautiful color, his heartbeat still pounding in his chest so much that Dan can feel it like his own.

“I love you too,” Phil says, kissing Dan’s nose. “I’ll get a towel.” Dan watches him stand up on wobbly legs, his body long and pale and so fucking pretty.

“You look like a baby giraffe,” Dan calls out at him as he stumbles down the hall, legs clearly still half-jelly. He hears Phil let out a shout of laughter down the hall.

When Phil comes back, he’s holding the towel over himself, so goddamn shy Dan feels like maybe he just fell in love with him all over again.

“You know, I’ve seen your dick once or twice,” he comments, and Phil blushes.

“Stop,” he whines, and crawls over Dan’s body to begin cleaning him off. Dan’s breath catches, and for a second they both look at each other, the silence in the room thickening. Then Phil reaches down, pushing the towel across Dan’s body, and he must have warmed up the water beforehand, because it’s not uncomfortable at all. In fact, Dan wants Phil’s hands on him all the time, he decides, and he snuggles up close to him as soon as he’s thrown the towel on the floor and crawled back in bed.

“I love you a lot,” Dan says into Phil’s shoulder, knowing he’s saying it a ridiculous amount but needing to hear it again. He spoons up close to him and wishes he could be closer.

“I love _you_ a lot,” Phil counters, and turns so they’re face-to-face. “Dan. If I hadn’t found you—“ he trails off, watching his hand where it rubs circles on Dan’s chest.

“I know,” Dan whispers, and stills Phil’s hand so it’s resting perfectly over his heart. “Me too.”

There’s not much left to put into words after that, and instead Phil rests his forehead against Dan’s, closing his eyes. They breathe in each other’s breath, their hearts beating in synchronicity. After a while, Phil falls asleep, his hand still curled up in Dan’s against his chest. Dan watches him, takes him all in even though he thinks he knows by now he’ll always have him like this, now and forever. Sleep’s coming easy, and Dan lets it take him, Phil’s body warm where it intertwines with his. This, he thinks, is what it feels like. This is his forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW lol!! I don't even know anymore honestly. It took me forever to write this because I built it up so much over the series and then I got to it and was like ah!! So I hope that it's alright. I don't think I'm done with this series but will probably slow it down and take some time to write other one-shots and stuff instead. But if you want to see this series going anywhere in particular, please tell me about it in the comments, because I would of course be interested to hear and also love writing this series so much! As always, please please leave me comments if you want to, because I really love hearing from y'all and will always respond (even though I'm away this weekend, so it might be a little longer than usual). Also, I have a tumblr (itsphorntbh) and want to start writing on there, so send me stuff you want to read and I'll write in on there and probably post it on here too! Thanks so much for reading and for supporting me throughout this series -- I really appreciate it!! <3


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